It's only fair to report that just three days after my beach grumpiness, our awesome friend Lori invited us to her town beach for the day. There were tidal pools and rocks for climbing. There was a broad sandy swath for digging. The water was frigid (I got an ice cream headache in my ankles while wading), but Rosie didn't mind one bit. Buzzy collected sea glass and crustaceans, and ran in a pack of new and old pals. Most importantly: Lori came prepared with a half-tent to provide shade and to block the wind. Life changing.
Too bad her beach has a waiting list rumored to be six years long for non-residents. Regardless, I put my name on it. In the mean time, I'm buying a tent--and sticking close to my wicked cool friends who may be the real secret to enjoying this beach business after all.