Ma’am, yes Ma’am!

As a recruit to parental boot camp, I'm finding my drill sergeant to be a little harsh. She doesn't care about trite distinctions such as "daytime" or "nighttime". In fact, the hours between 1:00 and 4:30 a.m. are our most intense.

Hmmm. Perhaps I DO need to rename this blog.

She plays mind games with me – here’s what last night's scene looked like.


Setting: A darkened house with one light on in the front bedroom. Baby Barracuda is red-faced, and screaming at New Mommy.

Baby Barracuda: Guess why I’m crying?

New Mommy: You’re hungry?

Baby Barracuda: WRONG!

New Mommy: You’re wet?

Baby Barracuda (after New Mommy navigates the obstacle course of the snaps on her sleepers): WRONG!

New Mommy: You’re sleepy?

Baby Barracuda: WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! I am hungry, you clueless grunt.

New Mommy: But… but you said you weren’t hungry before. Plus, you just ate an hour ago. Are you sure you’re hungry?

Baby Barracuda: FEED ME NOW!!


So far, I’ve been assigned to diaper duty and mess hall. Luckily, fellow recruits include my husband and parents. We make a great team, although they seem to have avoided mess hall. My parents ship out for R&R in another week and a half, so I’m enjoying the camaraderie while it lasts.

Gotta run – she’s calling again.


  1. So funny! But at least You can put Her on Her tummy and make Her do some push-ups (sorta, kinda)! And You have control over the food - in addition to the cell phone and car keys (at the moment). Yeah for parental power! EE

  2. I can just picture it! I'll take your advice about alone time to heart :-)


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