Once upon a time, say over 9 months ago, if I had a good hair day (rare) and was wearing a cute outfit (rarer), I would sometimes notice that a cute boy noticed me. Just in passing, but it did happen, as these things do.

When I started showing, though, my freefall off the male radar was swift and complete. The occasional male gaze was replaced by women who would register my swollen middle, catch my eye, and smile gently. It was nice, seeing as I had no use for the cute boys anyway. I appreciated the womens' tacit acknowledgement of what I was going through and headed towards.

On the eve of birth, I am as wide as I am tall. I have gained over a fifth of my original body weight, and it is protruding from my middle, where it occasionally hits innocent passers-by. (Depth perception was never my strong point). Gone are the gazes and the motherly smiles. Now, people wince when they see me coming.

It is time to have this kid.

The End.


  1. But your DH (dear husband), bet he thinks *beautful*...Maybe you'll look back on these special days with fond memories and (wince)!

    Here where I live (guess where) pregnancy is everywhere. I must see 4-6 expectant mamas each day out on the street. I thought I was imagining a population boomlet but now, it was confirmed by a babyshka (grandmother) I know. (And babyshkas - BAB-ysh-kas know Everything.) It started...maybe last year this time or so when President Putin (let's call him Papa Putin) announced a dollars (make that rubles) for babies program. All to help flow the population decline of The Motherland. Hmmm....need to get some actual statistics on this.

    But anyway, CONGRATULATIONS you are not alone! Lots of young ladies with watermelon tummies over here in southwest Russia. I look at them and smile...they're beautiful. Bet you are too! (

  2. You're so funny.

    Been thinking about you all morning (and all last night).

    Can't wait to hear about the new baby.

  3. YEAH! Women rock (and rule). Now all we need is for Kimbee to have a girl someday too. Love and blessings for all. :o)


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