Luckily, many of our friends and family have small children. They've been great with advice but have also carefully shielded us from the grittier aspects of parenting until they thought we were ready. We're down to the wire now. We've braved Babies R Us. We know about meconium. It is time. With one week left to go, my friend Marina brought out the breast pump.
I have never been more horrified.
Now, it's worth noting that I graduated from a wonderful land-grant university situated in the bucolic loveliness that is Central Illinois. Which is to say: I spent four years surrounded by cows. I witnessed milk's journey from bovine to table and never gave it much thought. But the breast pump brought on some graphic flashbacks, and now I'm sure I remember the resignation on those gentle Holstein faces. I'm switching to soy in solidarity.